There was a Girl

There was a girl who was as silent as a willow, swaying in the moonlit breeze.

She was as shy as a mouse, never willing to crawl out of her den.

She was rugged looking, like cracks in the new ceilings and walls, never to be repaired, for fear that it would crack anew.

she was unstable, like rocks balancing on one another by a raging river, one wrong gust and everything would fall apart.

She was isolated, like an old antique music box in a dusty case, never seeing the light of day.

she was silent, the only thing that could break the cycle, was music.

Music is the only reason this girl is here today, where she can be seen with her unfocused eyes, silent breathing, and her headphones atop her head.

That one silent girl can be seen in any corner of a classroom.

The girl who is blindly and wordlessly guided by music.

That girl is me.

The girl without a voice.

That girl was an Illusion.

There is a Girl

There is a girl who blooms brightly and suddenly like a lily on a bright summer’s day. The petals a lovely midnight and crimson hue.

She is shy and never the one to engage first but always puts others first before herself.

She is rugged looking with all of the scars dotting her skin like a canvas or scratches on a piece of new glass. A story that no one believes.

She is stable, moments of instability still plague her on sorrowful days but never will she let them get a firm grip on her life.

She is not isolated. Just in her own little world of music. Her mind is an antique music box, stories play and experiences chime. Only those who come close hear the full tune.

She is silent but not always. Like a traveler on the way to a city, she will only strike a conversation when someone willingly speaks.

Music was never the only reason she is still here. Friends who have stayed and accompanied her through her troubles have taught her to realize that there is no need to close off anymore.

That one silent girl that sits in the corner of the classroom,

That girl is me.

The girl who waits for the right person to come along to share my story.

That girl is not an Illusion.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“I am alone.

Never will I believe

You care for me

The truth is

Having faith in you is foolish

I don’t think

My well-being is your first priority

I know

We’ll protect each other

Is just silly.

I believe

Remaining on my own

Is the smartest course of action

Staying with you

Is the fastest way to Firstdeath

Walking—no, running—away from you

Won’t be easy, but

I’m willing to do it

And I know that

We’re better off together

Is a lie.

For I’m certain of this:

I am alone.”

~Gena Showalter, Firstlife.

 

I’m almost certain you just read this top to bottom. What if i told you this poem has different meanings depending on the way you read it? Go and read it from the bottom to the top. Top to bottom is a negative view while bottom to top is a positive. People when they see me always assume and pin the negative things about me. How I always look angry or disappointed or how I never seem to care or how I “never listen” but my friends always see the positives. Perspective has always played a part in how people see me. Strangers see me as cold and mysterious whereas my friends see me as kind and funny. If you never get to know me, you will read me on appearances. If you know me, you will read me on personality. This is why this poem means so much to me.

 

For the reason of my URL, www.wingedlegacies.edublogs.org, I cant really remember why it was wingedlegacies. Something about it just spoke to me. It was that or MythicalMysteries which may or may not become another one of my blogs. My Title, “Just an Illusion.” was a joke at first since Melody’s blog came before mine. Her title, “Are you really there” prompted me to change it there so that it matched up to “Are you really there?” “Just an Illusion.” and that really got me thinking. I hadn’t realized it went even farther than that and it went as follows, “Are you really there?” “No. Just an Illusion.” “What am I?” “Damaged and Surviving.” and right then and there I knew that this was going to be my blog’s title. I give off the illusion of many things. Most see what I want them to see while very few people see past the illusion and see what is truly happening with me.

 

My goal is to have everyone see past the illusion of a “quiet and mysterious girl” and see who I truly am. My themes consist of illusions as well. My header, an illusion that I am in my own world and lost from time. My background, an illusion that I have a cold and mechanical heart, void of feeling. If people can see past the illusions, they will see something quite special. I hope for my blog that I can work on it a bit more instead of just having it as a place to just do the assignments. This blog will probably continue on long after I finish high school and will be a place for my thoughts and feelings that I otherwise can’t say out loud.

 

I hope to improve myself and to change people’s opinions of me but I wont be the one to decide that, You will. You have the choice to decide whether you see past my illusions and get to know me or leave me in silence and mystery.

 

 

 

Until then, I am Just an Illusion.